I’m writing my own story.
I’ve been scribbling for a long time, relatively speaking. I write stories. Stories about History, mostly, and about people seeking the Truth.
My story isn’t about a distant past or some terrifying secret. It’s a story about freedom.
I write my own stories. No ghost out there, creeping in the closet. I guess I put a lot of myself in them.
How much do you really contribute to your story? Are you in charge, or do you allow others to write it for you?
For a long time, it felt that way. I was a character in a story written by distant ghosts. The writers took turn creating my universe. They were family members, friends, partners, managers, colleagues, and even strangers.
When I write, I can never truly control my characters. They kind of do what they want anyway. I just report it on a blank page. And if I don’t like what they do, I kill them. It’s called rewriting.
You can’t rewrite what is said. You can’t take the words back because once pronounced they are eternals.
How do you stop being good, nice, perfect? How do you rise above expectations? Over loyalty? Over money? Over love?
If my characters are free. Why am I not? Why do I let other handle my pen?
How do you write you own story? Well, it’s a short story. I don’t think you can really plan it. I believe that it always starts with a change within. Everything good is endogenous anyway.
While I rarely control a character, I always have the power to change it. But it isn’t easy to change someone, even a fictional character. It requires lots of rewriting. I call it rewiring. Loosing bad habits to make space for better ones.
I listed some of the little changes that affected me the most.
1) Stop pretending
2) Think with your instincts
3) Trust everyone
4) Make mistakes
5) Value happiness
6) Be grateful
Small steps, gradual changes.
Since childhood, we are told to think with our head, to make no mistake, to trust no one. Happiness is for babies, gratefulness for Buddhist monks.
I’m present. I listen to the murmurs. I respond. I fall and I rebound. I’m not longer matter.
I matter. I am mine.
I’m my story.